Understanding Childhood Trauma: A Guide for Parents, Carers, and Guardians

It is normal for everyone to experience difficult and stressful periods in their lives. Our children and young people are no different. At these times, with the right support and guidance, they can become resilient and start to feel better. However, in cases of trauma, these feelings can overwhelm their coping strategies, be difficult to manage and may have a longer term effect on their physical, emotional and psychological health.

If you're concerned that your child or young person is dealing with trauma, remember that you can be a vital source of help. By offering emotional support and a loving, safe environment, you can aid their healing over time.

What is trauma?

Trauma is the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event, events or set of circumstances. The response is unique to each individual and can have lasting effects. When trauma occurs during childhood, it is often referred to as adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).

Here are some examples of events that a child or young person might find traumatic:

• a violent event, such as an assault, domestic abuse or car accident
• experiencing discrimination such as racism or homophobia
• being bullied
• an unexpected death of someone they are close to
• a serious physical illness
• witnessing inappropriate online content

Ultimately, whether an event is considered traumatic depends on an individual's feelings about it. Our experiences are influenced by factors such as our previous experiences, our relationships with those around us, and the support available.

Children exposed to trauma may face difficulties in school, struggle to form healthy relationships, or display behavioural challenges. These effects can persist into adulthood, making early intervention and trauma informed approaches crucial for promoting healing.

What might you notice?

Everyone’s response to trauma is personal. You may notice changes straight after an event or reactions may appear delayed. This may make it difficult to understand the root of these behaviours, so it’s important to consider trauma as a potential explanation.

You or the young person may notice the following behaviours:

• Intense emotions that are difficult to manage (this could range from anger to low mood)
• Withdrawing from people and things they previously enjoyed
• Behavioural changes
• Hypervigilance (overly alert to what is happing around them)
• Unusual forming of attachments (lack of attachment to people or ‘clingy’)
• Issues with self-esteem
• Attention difficulties and concerns around their learning
• Being unable to sleep or having nightmares
• Unusual relationship with food (such as hoarding, stealing or refusal)
• Physical symptoms, such as aches and pains
• Older children may use drugs or alcohol, behave in risky ways, or engage in unhealthy sexual activity

How you can help

As a parent, carer or guardian, there are many ways you can support a young person:

• Safety and Trust– Traumatic experiences often leave people feeling unsafe. Think about how you can talk and act in ways that encourages the young person to feel safe or consider what might make them feel unsafe.
• Listen– Offer the young person opportunities to talk but also understand and respect that they might not want to. When they do want to open up, let them speak as often and for as long as they need to.
• Healthy Strategies – Work together to find healthy coping strategies they could use. This could help things feel less overwhelming in the short or long term. Some good strategies might be: partaking in physical activity, being creative or talking/writing down their feelings.
• Ask for Help (if needed) - Some young people who have experienced trauma may require professional and specialised support to help them heal. If you’re concerned, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance. This might be from their school, a counsellor, therapist or GP.
• • Look after yourself – Supporting a young person that has experienced trauma can be hard. Ensure you take care of yourself and seek support when necessary. 

Last updated: 05 November 2024